• Disrupting Power Since 2015
  • Donate
  • Login
Tuesday, May 13, 2025
  • Login
  • Register
Canary
MEDIA THAT DISRUPTS
  • News
    • UK
    • Global
    • Analysis
    • Trending
  • Editorial
  • Features
    • Features
    • Environment
    • Lifestyle
    • Health
    • Money
    • Science
    • Business
    • Tech
    • Travel
    • Sport & Gaming
  • Media
    • Video
    • Cartoons
  • Opinion
No Result
View All Result
MANAGE SUBSCRIPTION
SUPPORT
  • News
    • UK
    • Global
    • Analysis
    • Trending
  • Editorial
  • Features
    • Features
    • Environment
    • Lifestyle
    • Health
    • Money
    • Science
    • Business
    • Tech
    • Travel
    • Sport & Gaming
  • Media
    • Video
    • Cartoons
  • Opinion
No Result
View All Result
Canary
No Result
View All Result

Government denies large power outages part of no-deal planning

John Shafthauer by John Shafthauer
10 August 2019
in UK
Reading Time: 1 min read
170 2
A A
1
Home UK
319
SHARES
2.5k
VIEWS
Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Power outages hit England and Wales on 9 August. Coincidentally, the government has recently been planning for a no-deal Brexit.

But is it a coincidence?

Or is it part of what the government is expecting after they open the Brexit hell mouth?

Lights out

According to a leaked memo, the government is planning the following tests:

  • Closing the Irn Bru factory for a week to see how long it takes before Scotland starts rioting.
  • Replacing people’s medicine with tic tacs to see if the placebo effect kicks in.
  • Redirecting all outward-bound British tourists to Skegness.

A whistleblower came forward to tell us that:

We’ve been experimenting to see how long an adult human can go without water. Or trying to, anyway. The problem is our test subjects keep leaving about two hours into the test.

There’s also evidence that the police have started preparing. Photos show several forces stripping the panels off their vehicles to more closely resemble the ones in Mad Max. Police officers are also replacing their trademark uniforms with leather undies, bandoleers, and nipple rings.

Apocalypse

So is this the end for Britain? Or is it just the start of an exciting new adventure?

It’s hard to say, but will the last person leaving the nation please remember to switch the Mad Max-ian road cop’s lights off?

(DISCLAIMER: The Canary does not condone people resorting to violence in the dystopian hellscape that awaits them.)

Featured image via John Shafthauer

Share128Tweet80
Previous Post

The global trade in lion body parts is dealt a major blow in South Africa’s high court

Next Post

The week in satire Vol. #131

Next Post
Images from the week's satirical stories

The week in satire Vol. #131

Topple Uncaged Antonias story part two

CanaryPod: Topple Uncaged - Antonia's story, part two

Harassment campaign fails as Chris Williamson event goes ahead in Brighton

Harassment campaign fails as Chris Williamson event goes ahead in Brighton

Topple Uncaged S2 EP14

CanaryPod: Topple Uncaged S2 EP14

JLM members

Almost all the sources in that Panorama hatchet job have leading roles in an anti-Corbyn organisation

Please login to join discussion
Breaking the Silence is an Israeli organisation of ex-soldiers which "aims to bring an end to the occupation" of the Palestinian territories
Trending

Even Israeli ex-soldiers know ending the occupation is the only path to peace

by Ed Sykes
12 May 2025
DWP cuts will hit 670,000 families already living in poverty
Analysis

DWP cuts will throw 670,000 families already in poverty into even further deprivation

by Steve Topple
12 May 2025
ICE agents attempt to abduct mother and child, neighbours response goes viral
Trending

Neighbours resist police and ICE attack on mother and her child

by Ed Sykes
12 May 2025
Cranswick-owned pig farm: piglets in crates.
News

Shocking violence against piglets uncovered at farm operated by major supermarket supplier Cranswick

by The Canary
12 May 2025
Recovery in the Sun: How the Canary Islands are Becoming a Wellness Tourism Hub
Lifestyle

Recovery in the Sun: How the Canary Islands are Becoming a Wellness Tourism Hub

by Nathan Spears
12 May 2025
  • Contact
  • About & FAQ
  • Get our Daily News Email
  • Privacy Policy
  • Cookie Policy

The Canary
PO Box 71199
LONDON
SE20 9EX

Canary Media Ltd – registered in England. Company registration number 09788095.

For guest posting, contact ben@thecanary.co

For other enquiries, contact: hello@thecanary.co

The Canary is owned and run by independent journalists and volunteers, NOT offshore billionaires.

You can write for us, or support us by making a regular or one-off donation.

© Canary Media Ltd 2024, all rights reserved | Website by Monster | Hosted by Krystal | Privacy Settings

Welcome Back!

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password? Sign Up

Create New Account!

Fill the forms below to register

All fields are required. Log In

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In
No Result
View All Result
  • News
    • UK
    • Global
    • Analysis
    • Trending
  • Editorial
  • Features
    • Features
    • Environment
    • Lifestyle
    • Health
    • Money
    • Science
    • Business
    • Tech
    • Travel
    • Sport & Gaming
  • Media
    • Video
    • Cartoons
  • Opinion

© 2023 Canary - Worker's co-op.

Before you go, have you seen...?

Breaking the Silence is an Israeli organisation of ex-soldiers which "aims to bring an end to the occupation" of the Palestinian territories
Trending
Ed Sykes

Even Israeli ex-soldiers know ending the occupation is the only path to peace

DWP cuts will hit 670,000 families already living in poverty
Analysis
Steve Topple

DWP cuts will throw 670,000 families already in poverty into even further deprivation

ICE agents attempt to abduct mother and child, neighbours response goes viral
Trending
Ed Sykes

Neighbours resist police and ICE attack on mother and her child

Cranswick-owned pig farm: piglets in crates.
News
The Canary

Shocking violence against piglets uncovered at farm operated by major supermarket supplier Cranswick

ADVERTISEMENT
Lifestyle
Nathan Spears

Recovery in the Sun: How the Canary Islands are Becoming a Wellness Tourism Hub

Lifestyle
Nathan Spears

Why More People Are Seeking Legal Advice When Separating

Travel
Nathan Spears

Hungary Vignette Adventures: Discovering Hidden Gems by Car