To the outsider looking in, it appears that President Trump is up shit creek without a brain cell. His former lawyer is accusing him of criminality; other ex-employees are making deals of their own or heading to prison. As such, the vultures are circling.
Unless you believe Trump, of course, who claims:
I’m told they’re eagles. American eagles. I have the best birds.
Hello darkness my old friend
In a rambling, four-hour speech to his supporters, Trump claimed:
People say they’re vultures; I don’t see vultures. Do you see vultures? I think it’s fake news.
Trump later went on to say:
You know, vultures get a bad rap, but I like them. They tell you that vultures prey on the weak, but what if the weak had it coming? We don’t know. All I’m saying is, let’s give vultures a chance.
He eventually looped back around to the subject and concluded:
If it was up to me – and it is – vultures would be the national American bird. They don’t tell you this, but eagles are not a good choice. We really got screwed on that one. The rest of the world sends us these terrible, terrible birds, and we accept them like idiots. No more!
Cuckoo
Despite his insistence that changing the national bird was his top priority, Trump has been waylaid with another emerging scandal. His supporters, meanwhile, have been going out and hurling rocks at eagles.
It’s called ‘patriotism’.
Get Involved!
– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.
– Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.
Featured image via pxhere / pxhere / pixabay [IMAGE WAS ALTERED]
