Right wingers often complain that prisons are too soft; ‘lags’ are too coddled, and justice is too wishy-washy.
Or at least they do until someone they like gets sent down, anyway. Which is why they’ve all been complaining so much since Stephen Yaxley-Lennon (a.k.a. Tommy Robinson) was imprisoned.
Free Stevie
One tabloid bigmouth had this to say:
Contrary to my previous 15,000 articles on the matter, I now realise prisons are TOO TOUGH! These prisoners aren’t being given enough Sky Sports; their feelings are too often going unconsidered, and their sentences are too unreasonable!
The #FreeStevie campaign, meanwhile, has demanded the following:
- Little Stevie be wrapped in cotton wool for the remainder of his sentence.
- All prisoners be given padded mittens to prevent harmful fisticuffs.
- Work shifts to be replaced by hugs and beanbag time.
- 24 hour Joni Mitchell over the prison tannoy.
- Prison drugs to be replaced by prison kittens.
Lag up
Of course, there are many good reasons to reform the prison system. Not least because more progressive prisons manage to prevent crime, whereas privatised revenge fortresses only serve to increase it.
Still though, that’s why actual reform is a good idea. Moaning that prisons are too tough every time some dipshit repeat offender gets imprisoned, however, isn’t about reform. It’s about being a crybaby.
Get Involved!
– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.
– Join The Canary, so we can keep holding the powerful to account.