Gavin Williamson – the secretary of defence and alleged adult – has told Russia to “go away” and “shut up”.
This led to Russia ridiculing the prominent Tory. The ridicule has ceased, however, as Williamson’s mum stepped in to dish out some thick ears.
Big boy
In his speech, Williamson said, “Russia needs to shut up and go away”.
When a confused journalist asked if there was any chance of us going to war, the defence secretary responded:
We can’t do a navy on them because my mum said I can’t get wet, alright?
Another journalist asked if Williamson was okay, to which he yelped:
Stop making people think I’ve pooed myself when I haven’t! These trousers just fit me funny!
The defence secretary then waddled backwards off the stage – his eyes tearing up as he angrily wagged his fingers at the audience.
Woe betide
After Williamson’s mum found out, she hot-footed it down to the UN to dish out some motherly justice.
“What have you been doing to our Gav?” she shouted at the Russian ambassador.
Fearing a robust response, the ambassador ran off to hide in some nearby bushes and wait it out.
Williamson, meanwhile, was seen staring at the scenes though his bedroom window. He quickly closed his curtains when he was spotted, though.
It’s so far unclear if he’ll be at school tomorrow, or if he’s managed to sneak a sick day out of it.
Get Involved!
– For more satirical news, you can also follow Off The Perch on Facebook and Twitter.
Featured image via YouTube screengrab
