Katy Perry went to space for 11 minutes. As Jeff Bezos’ Blue Origin rocket roared, we were all left wondering whether she was going to be turned into a firework.
Katy Perry: the one that got away (but then fucking came back)
For 11 whole minutes, she was the one who got away.
“katy perry going to space!!”
The actual trip: pic.twitter.com/JK4mOyuiKY— solcito (@_valkyriecroft) April 14, 2025
Global temperatures are reaching record highs – meanwhile, billionaires and celebrities are more concerned with colonising space than protecting the planet we already have.
nothing says protecting mother earth like wasting an obscene amount of resources to send celebs into the air for 13 seconds!
— erb (@bentleyliz2) April 14, 2025
Each launch of the New Shepard shuttle costs around $5m. All that for a 11 minute round-trip?
But hey, maybe she finally got to live out her teenage dream.
Real sorry ur mom died cuz insurance denied her claim, real sorry ur feed is full of bombed starving babies, real sorry ur homeless but OMG LOOK KATY PERRY IS IN SPACE 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 https://t.co/EXJOC29I91
— tara houska ᔖᐳᐌᑴ (@zhaabowekwe) April 14, 2025
Women in STEM?
Meanwhile, women working for NASA are literally getting fired while their bios are removed from the internet.
I guess women are only okay in STEM if they’re going to be leaving earth?
Crazy how Katy Perry and Lauren Sanchez going to “space” for 10 minutes is supposed to “inspire women”, but the women who already worked at NASA are *checks notes* getting fired and getting their bios removed from the site
— 🌊Rhonda ~ (@SilverARTicfox) April 14, 2025
And it seems many people were hoping she would make her little space vacay MUCH longer.
why did i think katy perry would stay in space for a few days/weeks pic.twitter.com/IVcjVtZ4rL
— arianators wildin (@arianatorswildt) April 14, 2025
One thing’s for sure, no one was singing ‘miss you more’.
Personally I have no objection at all to Katy Perry going into space and do not understand the fuss.
I am however more ambivalent about her coming back again, having once heard her sing without autotune.
— Craig Murray (@CraigMurrayOrg) April 14, 2025
You might even say Katy Perry was in, then was out, up, and then down – and all in the time it took most of us to take a shower.
katy perry going to space for 11 minutes whyd i think it was gonna be like an entire month pic.twitter.com/XBFnzldR42
— joey (@emmarobcerts) April 14, 2025
It’s a shame Katy Perry didn’t finally meet that extraterrestrial boy with a ‘supernatural touch’.
The Blue Origin Mission was nothing more than billionaire & oligarch, Jeff Bezos, funding this whopping 11 minute joy ride into space for his fiancée, Lauren Sanchez, and five of her wealthy friends…pop star Katy Perry (ex-wife of rapist Russell Brand,) Gayle King (Oprah’s… pic.twitter.com/quEwvx1RQd
— Annie (@AnnieForTruth) April 14, 2025
Couldn’t they leave them there at least https://t.co/U74ErC514Z
— jess i can ✨ (@melanchomical) April 15, 2025
Katy Perry: TGIT
But don’t forget, it’s all an iLlUmInAtI plot. Katy Perry actually spent the 11 minutes in a West Texas branch of Wendy’s drinking a baby’s blood shake:
Katy Perry going to space was another psyop…They are mocking people at this point….
"6" women going to "space" wearing the baphomet symbol…. pic.twitter.com/2zwNIcN0lr
— Truth Seeker (@_TruthZone_) April 14, 2025
Or maybe not.
What we are sure of is that 11 minutes is longer than a) anyone could tolerate listening to 143, and b) longer than anyone not a billionaire could tolerate a conversation with Katy Perry.
So, as tech bros (and girls) continue to cost us the Earth, maybe it’s time to update one now evidently overused rallying cry. “Eat the rich” seems pretty last year – “eject the rich” though? Seems a little more 2025 to me.
For anyone who has seen the movie ‘Don’t look up’ – there is only one way this can end. Let’s make sure it’s a one way trip for wealthy parasites like Bezos.
Feature image via the Canary
