Are you one of those people who get angry at whatever pundits and politicians tell them to be angry at each week? If you are, you spent this week being angry at colours on a Nike shirt – like Laurence Fox did:
England kit: Keir Starmer urges change over St George's Cross design https://t.co/Dfinb3EYyM
— BBC News (UK) (@BBCNews) March 21, 2024
Why are people so angry about this? Most couldn’t tell you; others are convinced the colour-change is some sort of LGBTQ+ thing. Chief among the latter group is freelance moron Fox. Embarrassingly for him, however, he seems to have turned up to the Nike protest wearing Nike trainers:
Laurence Fox leading a “Million Men March” that like 50 people turned up to to boycott Nike whilst wearing Nike trainers is comedy gold. Satire is dead. pic.twitter.com/2bPmQYhOe9
— DEɅN JOHNSON (@deanjohnsonuk) March 24, 2024
Mind numbing
So why did Nike change the colours of the St George’s cross? According to Nike:
We have been a proud partner of the FA since 2012 and understand the significance and importance of the St George’s Cross and it was never our intention to offend, given what it means to England fans.
Together with the FA, the intention was to celebrate the heroes of 1966 and their achievements.
The trim on the cuffs takes its cues from the training gear worn by England’s 1966 heroes, with a gradient of blues and reds topped with purple.
The same colours also feature an interpretation of the flag on the back of the collar.
If you’re halfway normal, you’re probably screaming into a pillow right now and asking: ‘who fucking gives a fuck about any of this fucking shit?‘ The answer is apparently serious politicians and news outlets:
Sunak: "when it comes to our national flags, we shouldn't mess with them".
What about the Conservative party membership card, the Team GB 2012 kit, or the England kits from the early 2010s. Where was the criticism of those?
Double standards from those stoking culture wars. https://t.co/RSGzhFmEpG pic.twitter.com/cauzSADKZx
— James Cosgrove (@MrJamesCosgrove) March 22, 2024
https://twitter.com/HighlandRampage/status/1771155739840540733?s=20
Starmer and Sunak have taken a stronger position on the England football kit than they have on genocide. https://t.co/DuxgZfy5kc
— Aidan (@Aidan__FTBL) March 22, 2024
Pundits getting angry include those who have apparently never seen a rainbow before:
Calls for a boycott of Nike are growing over a "woke" rainbow redesign of the England flag on the Euro 2024 football kit, with Rishi Sunak wading in to the row saying the company "shouldn't mess" with the flag. https://t.co/f4hBIF4MUy
— Toby Young (@toadmeister) March 22, 2024
In other words, it’s mostly tedious flag-shaggery, but it’s not only that. Some are using it as an opportunity to be homophobic:
Fully convinced that the England flag football kit outrage comes from a few folk mistakenly thinking it was LGBT colours, then not backing down after finding out they were wrong. pic.twitter.com/XdUcWVH43Y
— Steph Paton (@stephenpaton134) March 22, 2024
And now we get to Mr Fox.
Foxed in the head
London Economic said of the protest Laurence Fox attended:
Fox was part of 100 or so demonstrators at a gathering organised by Turning Point UK. The protest, which claimed to be in the interests of protecting British culture, praised the likes of Lee Anderson and Suella Braverman for their immigration rhetoric.
There were minor altercations with police, but the event was largely peaceful – thanks in part to its small size. Nike’s decision to add different colours to the St. George Flag on England’s new football shirt was among the grievances raised.
Fox made a crucial mistake, however, and that was to turn up wearing trainers made by the company he was there to protest:
looking forward to Laurence Fox telling everyone to boycott Morrisons while wearing a Morrisons hat today https://t.co/nn2Q7ax1M0
— dave ❄️ 🥕 🧻 (@mrdavemacleod) March 24, 2024
That’s the most common theory; we wonder if actually he’s been so comprehensively sued that he’s had to sell off all his other shoes:
“The wind has blown and the anus of the chicken has been exposed” – Nigerian proverb.
With no other work, turns out the role of the anus is to be played by Laurence Fox who lost a libel suit against Crystal and will pay a six figure sum. Hate to see itpic.twitter.com/TTX3eh8EGJ
— Le Gateau Chocolat (@LeGateauChoc) March 22, 2024
Laurence Fox: fox all to say
Responding to this farce of his own creation, Laurence Fox said:
I just turned on the internet to see I was trending for wearing a pair of 15-year-old Nike high tops. Unfortunately, I bought all of these before Nike started using sexual deviance to sell their products – so I’m going to hang onto them.
Because that makes sense, doesn’t it. It’s much like how we still wear our old Jim’ll Fix It t-shirts because they were printed before Jimmie Saville was exposed as a child rapist.
If you didn’t detect the sarcasm there, we’re afraid to announce we were being sarcastic. No one who truly thinks a company stands for sexual deviancy emblazons themselves with that company’s logo.
So that leaves us with a question: is Fox a liar or a deviant?
The answer is it doesn’t really matter. You don’t need to understand Fox’s thought process to point and laugh at him; you simply need to point and then laugh.
Featured image via Good Morning Britain
