The Tories have realised two things this year:
- Young people are actually voting.
- Young people don’t vote Tory.
As such, the Tories are having to say things which young people might like. Which is no skin off their noses because, as we all know, they’re happy to say anything to win votes. It’s the following through that they have an issue with.
This strategy of making empty gestures sometimes goes awry, however. As is the case with the government’s promise to ‘go green’.
It’s not easy being green
For some reason, Theresa May seemed to think that ‘going green’ meant… going green. Possibly because the Tories don’t really have much in the way of environmental policy, so how would she know?
This led to May donning what appeared to be a Kermit the Frog costume and telling journalists:
Hello, hip dudes. It has been said that young people do not like the Conservatives. Well I’m here to say ribbit to that!
The journalists in attendance looked confused at this point. May continued:
Because young people like frogs, you see? You do see, don’t you? Because… Boris… told me that… oh no.
Feels good
At this point, a journalist pointed out that some young people liked Pepe the Frog, and asked May if she was supposed to be dressed like him.
“Yes!” May responded – presumably not realising that Pepe has become a symbol of white nationalism.
“I’m Pappy the Frog,” she continued, before desperately hopping around the stage. “I’m Pappy the Frog!”
Change
It’s a shame the Tories don’t take climate change seriously, as it’s the most important issue of our time. Although it’s not the end of the world*, as obviously we can just have government change at the next election.
*It probably will be the end of the world.
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