In all his sovereign ruling magnanimity, king Charles has come to the “royal rescue” of the shivering proletariat pensioner masses this winter. Sausage-fingered chinless wonder Charlie-boy raised the portcullis of his Highgrove House former residence (one of seven palaces, 10 castles, 12 homes, 56 cottages) to his freezing, starving subjects for a well-mannered “Winter Warmer”, replete with resplendent regal luncheon from the Royal chefs. We’re sure there was plenty of gamey grouse and partridge from the king’s gruesome hunting grounds to go around.
When did the Royal family start employing the court jester at its public relations office? Because it is, of course, the biggest piss-take from the taxpayer-funded, tax exempt, most pompous parasitic pricks the world has ever known.
King Charles’ ‘Winter Warmers’: a PR stunt for the Royal Family
Good Morning Britain started the day with a grovelling show of mindless Monarchism:
King Charles is opening the doors of his Highgrove estate in Gloucestershire, inviting those in need to experience a little warmth this winter in what’s being hailed as a royal rescue.
Highgrove Director for @KingsFdn, Constantine Innemée speaks to @kategarraway and @adilray. pic.twitter.com/VOvWLXem26
— Good Morning Britain (@GMB) February 21, 2025
Charles’ charity The King’s Foundation – that he preemptively-minted in 1990, only a good three decades-plus before her royal highness and dear mummy croaked it – is hosting these “Winter Warmers” between January and March.
Separately, a nauseatingly grandstanding press release from it reads:
The King’s Foundation ‘Winter Warmers’ returned to Highgrove Gardens today, hosted in the Orchard Room. Our Winter Warmers initiative was first introduced in 2023 to combat social isolation in the local community during the winter months, and provide a warm and welcoming space to local residents including elderly and vulnerable people.
Nothing says “welcoming space” more than the grossly gilded dining room of a king’s former stately home. Safe to say, the populace of X were not amused:
Any Royal Charity is a distraction from Royals not paying their sodding taxes.
It’s a distraction from an institution supported by blood right superiority and feudal landlordism.
Abolish it, abolish the Monarchy. https://t.co/27CC96hmio
— Alexander Louis Sallons (@sallonsax) February 21, 2025
King Charles has invited people who are lonely or struggling to heat their homes to one of his many houses for the afternoon
Instead of PR events for the cameras how about the King pays the taxes everybody else has to pay? (e.g. his businesses are exempt from corporation tax) pic.twitter.com/JiAAgqLBsQ
— Saul Staniforth (@SaulStaniforth) February 21, 2025
The generosity is staggering.
— Deborah Ellison (@dancefitdebs) February 21, 2025
Why not give over some of his many properties to help. Letting a few in to warm up and then go home to their cold homes it’s not really going to help
— Liz Dyra (@lizzied41) February 21, 2025
I hear the horse stables are nice and cosy…
To keep his older guests toasty for a few hours in his royal ‘hind’-quarters (because, let’s be real, he’s not exactly laying down the drawbridge to one of his seven palaces now is he?), and his horses warm indefinitely:
Wood pellet, biomass boilers are used to heat Highgrove House, the Orchard Room, stables and offices.
Needless to say, the royal ass (oh wait, should one say, derriere?) is pulling a massive Nadhim Zahawi. By which we mean, plundering from the public’s pockets to heat his numerous palaces’ horse stables.
After all, the Crown is only planning to cash in £132m for the taxpayer-funded Sovereign Grant in 2025-26. It’s a whopping 53% increase on the already gargantuan £86.3m the public are footing for 2024-25. The machinations of mollycoddling monarchists George Osborne and David Cameron ensured the Royals’ cosmic handout has only risen in line with the Crown Estate’s soaring profits.
So that’s multi-millions of public money. And it’s all to pay for the maintenance of these insufferably pointless inbreds’ many haughty houses.
And those ludicrously princely sums have come from, you guessed it, ripping off the rest of us. That is, the Royal Family is charging the NHS, schools, charities, and public bodies for the lofty privilege of posting up on its land. Land “largely seized by medieval monarchs” by the way.
The Canary wrote on this exposé in November:
Turn the heating on? King Charles takes a cut.
Pay the rent? King Charles takes a cut.
Bury a loved one? King Charles takes a cut.
See the problem here? To stave off the pensioner deaths this winter, a handful can sit in Highgrove House for a whole lunch hour. At least, they can when the king sees fit to let them in, for a meagre few months of the year. The rest of the time, we’re forking out funds to the royal wanker when we heat our homes. Plus, every pensioner that Winter Fuel Payment cut, and unaffordably high energy bills put in a coffin this winter – straight to the Crown’s coffers too.
Don’t forget the ‘Privy Purse’ and tax exemptions
This staggering public money is of course, alongside the colossal land portfolio that lines king Charles’ pockets. His personal little “Privy Purse” might even pay for the wood pellets. Again though, it’s money the monstrously flush monarch hasn’t done anything to earn. This is a private income gifted to the king for the sole fact of his landed, lucked-out birth. Specifically, the king derives it purely from the land and commercial property revenue of the Duchy of Lancaster.
None of that is anything to speak of the wood pellets for the biomass boilers themselves. Not renewables, not green, not ethical, no matter how much the greenwashing king might try to wrangle it. There are huge climate and pollution costs – particularly for racially minoritised frontline communities. Don’t ever say the British Royal Family does nothing – because it’s all in a day’s work for the ghoulish living, breathing representation of violent colonialism.
However, this wasn’t even the half of it. While the plebs pay their taxes, the Royal clinger-on doesn’t even have to raise his podgy sausage finger to pay up for all his wealth and worth(lessness). His oh-so gracious highness does pay income tax voluntarily. But, he’s not obliged to like everyone else in this barely green, and deeply unpleasant land.
As for that pesky Inheritance Tax on the late Queen’s wealth, Charlie wasn’t going to be looking the legal loophole gift-horse in the mouth on that one. There’s a nice little clause courtesy of John Major’s government that let the loaded heir skip out on that 40% levy on assets over £325,000. Did we mention the Royals get a free pass on Capital Gains Tax as well?
Here’s an idea. If those jammy tax-dodgers stopped taking the biscuit and actually paid their fair share, pensioners might be able to afford to heat their own homes.
Won’t somebody please think of Buckingham Palace?
The king’s charity even has the bare-faced audacity to publicise its glorified warm-bank amidst its own rental scandals. Specifically, the Royal Family’s estate is renting out grotty properties that don’t meet Minimum Energy Standard (MES) regulations.
As the Mirror and Channel 4 Dispatches revealed in November:
Scores of rental properties owned by Prince William fail to meet the minimum legal energy efficiency standards for landlords, we can reveal.
We found some of his tenants are at risk of fuel poverty, living in hard to heat homes that are riddled with damp and black mould. Our investigation with Channel 4 Dispatches has found that as many as one in seven of William’s inherited Duchy of Cornwall’s residential rental properties have the lowest Energy Performance Certificate ratings of F or G.
That’s right, the billionaire bloodsuckers are raking in profits from moldy, damp, and freezing homes. The Royal fam reading the room like champs as usual then. Instead of showboating its ‘Winter Warmer’ little whimsy, it could maybe see about getting its rentals in order first.
And it’s Victorian squalor for the plebs, palace renovations for the Royals. That is, on top of *everything* else, the public is ALSO paying for £369m in refurbishments at Buckingham Palace. It’s for electrical cabling, plumbing, and heating no less.
The 108 metre long, by 120 metre deep, and 24 metre high 775-roomed royal residence a little too drafty for the septuagenarian sovereign?
It’s a piece of horse shit thrown in the face of freezing pensioners this winter
There’s something enormously fucked up about people having to rely on warm banks in the first place to stay alive. No one in the UK in 2025 should be in fuel poverty and freezing to death in their homes. Of course, this isn’t ONLY down to tax-evading, freeloading con that is the Royal Family. Spineless energy ‘regulator’ Ofgem, Conservative governments in quick succession, and the current Labour government bear much of the blame for this.
However, it’s a kick in the teeth that this classist vestige of criminal colonial empire is using pensioners the Labour government has purposely poverty-stricken, to get a bit of good publicity for the Crown.
But, “keep calm, and carry on” am I right? FUCK that.
Featured image via the Canary
